PHILOKALIA MINISTRIES

When circumstances give us no peace, the heart must learn to receive peace from somewhere deeper. “In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for Thou alone, O Lord, makest me dwell in safety.” — Psalm 4:8 There comes a point in the spiritual life when we grow tired even of waiting. We have prayed. We have tried to act honestly. We have surrendered what we thought God was asking us to surrender. We have allowed identities to be stripped away, plans to collapse, certainties to d

Beyond trusting God to having nothing but God “Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose trust is the LORD.” — Jeremiah 17:7 There is a difference between trusting in the Lord and having the Lord as our trust. The difference is almost imperceptible at first. Yet it may contain the whole spiritual life. We often say that we trust God when what we mean is that we trust Him for something. We trust Him to guide us. To protect us. To heal what is wounded. To resolve what is

God does not promise that we will remain unbroken, but that He will not abandon us in the breaking. “God rebukes but also encourages, he brings fear and he brings consolation, he strikes and he heals. Do not reject him.” — St. Augustine, On Pastors There is a kind of consolation that merely tries to make suffering disappear. It tells us that things will soon improve, that what has been lost will somehow be restored, that uncertainty will eventually give way to clarity. We off

The mercy of being prepared for temptation “My son, come to the service of God. Stand fast in fear and in righteousness, and prepare your soul for temptation.” — St. Augustine, On Pastors There is a kindness that comforts us by telling us that the storm will pass. There is another kindness that teaches us how to stand when it does not. Saint Augustine speaks with the severity of one who knows the difference. The negligent shepherd, he tells us, does not necessarily abandon th

When everything passes away and only the promise of God remains “The creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and obtain the glorious liberty of the children of God.” — Romans 8:21 There comes a time when we begin to understand that the ache we carry is not merely our own. Something is wrong with the world. We feel it in the body as it grows tired. We see it in those we love as strength diminishes. We experience it in friendships interrupted by death, commun

Fidelity in the Place of Uncertainty “I have already forgiven all, and pray for those who sinned against me.” — St. Nektarios of Aegina There are seasons when God seems to take away the ground beneath our feet. The familiar place disappears. What once gave shape to our life no longer seems able to hold it. The future remains hidden, and every attempt to secure it only increases the unrest of the heart. St. Nektarios knew such a place. He knew what it was to lose position, rep

The freedom of discovering that nothing created was ever meant to carry the weight of the heart “He is happy who is helped by Jacob’s God, whose hope is in the Lord his God.” — Psalm 145 There comes a strange freedom when the heart finally discovers that nothing in this world can save it. Not because the world is evil. Not because people do not matter. Not because our responsibilities, loves, promises, sufferings, and histories are without meaning. But because none of them is

Memento Mori and the Freedom of No Longer Needing to Solve One’s Life “If we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord; so then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s.” — Romans 14:8 There comes a point when even the desire to understand one’s life must be surrendered. We spend so much of our existence trying to solve it. We turn circumstances into problems. We turn other people into problems. Eventually, and perhaps most cruelly, we turn our

The Freedom of the Cross “No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord.” — John 10:18 There is a freedom that comes only when we have ceased trying to keep our life. Christ reveals it from the Cross. “No one takes it from me. I lay it down of my own accord.” Those words change everything. From the outside, His life appears to be taken from Him. He is betrayed, arrested, falsely accused, stripped, mocked, condemned, and nailed to the wood. Others seem to possess

Sometimes the Risen Christ leads us back to the beginning, not to recover the life we had, but to discover the life that has been quietly forming within us. “It is the Lord.” — John 21:7 There is something mysterious about the return to Galilee. After everything that has happened—the calling, the years of following, the miracles and arguments, the supper, Gethsemane, the Cross, the bewildering news of the empty tomb—the disciples find themselves again beside the sea. Galilee.

When every other way of being restored has been taken from our hands “Restore us to thyself, O LORD, that we may be restored.” — Lamentations 5:21 There are sorrows that still contain within them the hope of repair. We suffer, but somewhere in the heart we are already imagining how things might be put right. A door might open. Someone might understand. An explanation might finally be accepted. What has been confused might become clear. What has been lost might somehow be retu

There are depths of stripping into which no one can follow us completely, yet we discover there that we have never been alone. “A brother helped by a brother is like a strong city.” — Proverbs 18:19 There are seasons of the spiritual life when what God permits is so severe that even those who love us may tremble before it. They cannot stop it. They cannot explain it. They cannot descend entirely into the place where we have been led. They can only remain near. And perhaps thi

Purity of heart is not having found the way forward, but having ceased to need any way except the will of God. “Those who love your law shall enjoy abundant peace; for them it is no stumbling block.” — Saint Leo the Great There is a peace that comes because circumstances have settled themselves, and there is another peace that comes because the heart has ceased demanding that they be settled. We often confuse the two. We imagine that peace will arrive when the uncertainty is

The hidden work by which God gathers a divided life into the simplicity of Christ “Then the outer self will belong to the inner self at last, a peaceful and secure possession.” — St. Leo the Great There are sorrows that scatter the heart, and there are sorrows that gather it. We ordinarily know the first kind best. Something is taken from us. A door closes. Another person wounds us. The future becomes uncertain. What we had imagined our life would become begins to disappear.

When God does not give us a path forward, but only enough light to remain faithful where we are “Stay in your cell, and your cell will teach you everything.” — Abba Moses There are seasons in life when God seems to make His will known by opening a door. There are others when He seems to make it known by closing every door through which we imagined ourselves passing. We prefer the first. A path appears. A decision becomes clear. Something that had been uncertain suddenly acqui

The terrible freedom of remaining with Christ when nothing changes “Keep thy mind in hell and despair not.” — St. Silouan the Athonite There are moments when the spiritual life ceases to offer consolation. Not because God has withdrawn His mercy, but because He permits every lesser thing upon which we have secretly depended to be taken from our hands. The Fathers knew this place. It is the place where prayer does not change circumstances. Where obedience does not immediately

Learning to see providence when love seems absent “We love because He first loved us.” — 1 John 4:19 There are moments when the heart aches not primarily because it has been wounded by others, but because it begins to see. It sees how little love there is in the world. And worse, it sees how little love there is within itself. We imagine ourselves generous until generosity costs us something. We imagine ourselves merciful until someone wounds us deeply. We imagine ourselves p