PHILOKALIA MINISTRIES

On the Holy Poverty of a Life That Has Not Taken Shape “By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place which he was to receive as an inheritance; and he went out, not knowing where he was to go.” — Hebrews 11:8 There is a peculiar temptation that comes when a life begins to fall apart. We immediately begin trying to understand what God is building from the ruins. Something has ended, and almost before we have allowed ourselves to grieve it, we ask what is beg

The surrender beneath every true turning toward God “Shew me, O Lord, thy ways, and teach me thy paths.” — Psalm 24:4 There are moments in the spiritual life when even the desire to know God’s will must be purified. We ask Him to lead us. But often what we mean is: Show me where this is going. Tell me what my life will become. Give me a form I can recognize. Let me know what I will be called. Show me enough of the road that I can consent without fear. We call this discernment

There comes a time when asking again is no longer humility “Speak, Lord, for your servant hears.” — 1 Samuel 3:9 The desert fathers feared self-will. They knew how easily a man could call his desire the will of God. So they taught him to wait. To pray. To seek counsel. To accept contradiction. To distrust the thought that arrived with urgency and demanded immediate obedience. They taught him not to believe himself too quickly. But they also knew another danger. A man can refu

The desert begins when even the voices that once sustained us fall silent “O God, do not abandon me. I have done nothing good in Your sight, but according to Your goodness, let me now make a beginning.” — Abba Arsenius There comes a loneliness that is not cured by company. It comes when the voices that once steadied us grow quiet. A spiritual father does not answer. A friend does not understand. A community no longer knows what to do with us. Those who once seemed able to rec

Beyond trusting God to having nothing but God “Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose trust is the LORD.” — Jeremiah 17:7 There is a difference between trusting in the Lord and having the Lord as our trust. The difference is almost imperceptible at first. Yet it may contain the whole spiritual life. We often say that we trust God when what we mean is that we trust Him for something. We trust Him to guide us. To protect us. To heal what is wounded. To resolve what is

The unconscious may disclose what is hidden in man. The soul reveals that man himself is hidden in God. “The heart is but a small vessel; and yet dragons and lions are there, and there are poisonous creatures and all the treasures of wickedness; rough, uneven paths are there, and gaping chasms. There likewise is God, there are the angels, there is life and the Kingdom, there is light and the apostles, the heavenly cities and the treasures of grace: all things are there.” — St

The Cross, the loss of the false self, and the Kingdom already breaking into the world “Whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it.” — Mark 8:35 There comes a moment in the spiritual life when Christ no longer permits us merely to admire Him. He says: Follow Me. And the road upon which He walks is unmistakable. It is the road of relinquishment. “Let him deny himself and take up his cross.” These words can sound severe until we begin to understand what Ch

The terrible mercy of being led into exile “You have eyes to see, but see not; you have ears to hear, but hear not.” — Ezekiel 12:2 There is a blindness that comes not because there is no light, but because we have grown accustomed to not looking. There is a deafness that comes not because God has ceased speaking, but because we have learned how to hear everything except the word that would require us to change. This is the terrible warning in Ezekiel. The people have eyes. T

Fidelity in the Place of Uncertainty “I have already forgiven all, and pray for those who sinned against me.” — St. Nektarios of Aegina There are seasons when God seems to take away the ground beneath our feet. The familiar place disappears. What once gave shape to our life no longer seems able to hold it. The future remains hidden, and every attempt to secure it only increases the unrest of the heart. St. Nektarios knew such a place. He knew what it was to lose position, rep

When every other way of being restored has been taken from our hands “Restore us to thyself, O LORD, that we may be restored.” — Lamentations 5:21 There are sorrows that still contain within them the hope of repair. We suffer, but somewhere in the heart we are already imagining how things might be put right. A door might open. Someone might understand. An explanation might finally be accepted. What has been confused might become clear. What has been lost might somehow be retu

The hidden work by which God gathers a divided life into the simplicity of Christ “Then the outer self will belong to the inner self at last, a peaceful and secure possession.” — St. Leo the Great There are sorrows that scatter the heart, and there are sorrows that gather it. We ordinarily know the first kind best. Something is taken from us. A door closes. Another person wounds us. The future becomes uncertain. What we had imagined our life would become begins to disappear.

When God does not give us a path forward, but only enough light to remain faithful where we are “Stay in your cell, and your cell will teach you everything.” — Abba Moses There are seasons in life when God seems to make His will known by opening a door. There are others when He seems to make it known by closing every door through which we imagined ourselves passing. We prefer the first. A path appears. A decision becomes clear. Something that had been uncertain suddenly acqui

On the quiet passage from doing for God to remaining with Him “One thing is needful.” — Luke 10:42 There comes a time when a question begins to form in the heart that one could not have asked honestly before. It does not arise from contempt for the world, nor necessarily from disappointment with one’s work. It may come after many years of labor, after responsibilities faithfully carried, after words spoken and written, after friendships and communities, after building things

How We Lose God While Still Believing We Are Seeking Him “My people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns, that can hold no water.” — Jeremiah 2:13 There is something terrifying about the second chapter of Jeremiah because it is addressed not to those who never knew God, but to those who did. “I remember the devotion of your youth, your love as a bride, how you followed me in the

Stillness, Holy Renunciation, and the Recovery of the One Thing Necessary “But one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which shall not be taken away from her.” — Luke 10:42 There are seasons in the spiritual life when God seems to enlarge the horizon. Doors open. Relationships multiply. Work becomes fruitful. One discovers gifts that must be exercised for others, and the heart seems drawn outward in service. There are other seasons when God appears to do pre