PHILOKALIA MINISTRIES

When listening to God may cost us the life by which we have known ourselves “Speak, Lord, for thy servant heareth.” — 1 Samuel 3:9 There are moments when I look back upon the last several years and wonder whether I should simply have stopped. Not searched. Not planned. Not tried so quickly to find another place to stand. Perhaps I should have waited longer. Waited upon the Lord. Waited until the noise within me had quieted enough that I could distinguish His voice from my fea

On simple work, silence, and the gathering of the heart “Whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” — 1 Corinthians 10:31 There is a mercy hidden in simple work. A floor needs to be swept. Water is drawn. The mop passes back and forth. Things are returned quietly to their places. The house is being prepared for the Sabbath, but something within us is also being put in order. The Fathers understood the importance of such labor. Work was not merely something that interrupted

When Even the Desire to Do Something for God Must Become Still “And this is the definition of stillness, silence to all things.” — St. Isaac the Syrian, Homily 21 There are desires that arise from restlessness, and there are desires that arise only after restlessness has begun to die. For many years I thought of the spiritual life largely in terms of movement: what must be done, what must be offered, where one must go, what form one’s fidelity must take. Even the deepest desi

When the Heart Is Too Small to Recognize the Humility of God “Is not this the carpenter’s son?” — Matthew 13:55 There is a terrible sorrow hidden in this Gospel. God comes home, and they cannot receive Him. Not because He has concealed Himself entirely. They hear the wisdom. They see enough of the works to be astonished. Something has broken into their familiar world that cannot easily be explained. But then they look at Him. Is not this the carpenter’s son? They know His mot

When even the good we do for God must be surrendered “Nevertheless do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you; but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.” — Luke 10:20 The most dangerous possessions are sometimes the ones we acquire in the service of God. The seventy return to Jesus radiant. “Lord, even the demons are subject to us in your name!” They have every reason to rejoice. They have not accumulated wealth. They have not conquered cities. They

A Dialogue on the Painful Mercy of Learning to See “Now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face.” — 1 Corinthians 13:12 The disciple came to the elder late in the afternoon. For a long while he said nothing. Finally the elder asked, “What troubles you?” “I no longer know what is real.” The elder looked at him. “That is not always a bad beginning.” “I thought you would tell me not to doubt.” “Perhaps you are doubting the wrong things.” The disciple lowered his eyes. “F

The freedom of God and the surrender of the heart “The wind blows where it wills, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know whence it comes or whither it goes; so it is with every one who is born of the Spirit.” — John 3:8 We would like God to be predictable. We would like the spiritual life to unfold according to recognizable lines: obedience followed by clarity, fidelity followed by stability, sacrifice followed by some visible confirmation that we have understood c

On the Holy Poverty of a Life That Has Not Taken Shape “By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place which he was to receive as an inheritance; and he went out, not knowing where he was to go.” — Hebrews 11:8 There is a peculiar temptation that comes when a life begins to fall apart. We immediately begin trying to understand what God is building from the ruins. Something has ended, and almost before we have allowed ourselves to grieve it, we ask what is beg

The surrender beneath every true turning toward God “Shew me, O Lord, thy ways, and teach me thy paths.” — Psalm 24:4 There are moments in the spiritual life when even the desire to know God’s will must be purified. We ask Him to lead us. But often what we mean is: Show me where this is going. Tell me what my life will become. Give me a form I can recognize. Let me know what I will be called. Show me enough of the road that I can consent without fear. We call this discernment

The desert begins when even the voices that once sustained us fall silent “O God, do not abandon me. I have done nothing good in Your sight, but according to Your goodness, let me now make a beginning.” — Abba Arsenius There comes a loneliness that is not cured by company. It comes when the voices that once steadied us grow quiet. A spiritual father does not answer. A friend does not understand. A community no longer knows what to do with us. Those who once seemed able to rec

When the monastic heart ceases to be an idea and becomes the place where one must live “Go, sit in your cell, and your cell will teach you everything.” — Abba Moses For years I have spoken of the monastic heart as something universal. I have insisted that the desert does not belong only to monks, that hesychia is not the possession of those behind monastery walls, and that the summons to purity of heart is nothing other than the Gospel addressed to every human being. The monk

Fidelity in the Place of Uncertainty “I have already forgiven all, and pray for those who sinned against me.” — St. Nektarios of Aegina There are seasons when God seems to take away the ground beneath our feet. The familiar place disappears. What once gave shape to our life no longer seems able to hold it. The future remains hidden, and every attempt to secure it only increases the unrest of the heart. St. Nektarios knew such a place. He knew what it was to lose position, rep