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Synopsis of Session I of the Fall Retreat: To Become All Flame
When Desire Is Purified into Love A Reflection on the First Evening of Our Retreat “If you will, you can become all flame.” — Abba Joseph We began our retreat with one of the most familiar sayings of the Desert Fathers, and yet perhaps one of the most inexhaustible. Abba Lot came to Abba Joseph and described what had become the pattern of his spiritual life. He kept his little rule. He fasted according to his strength. He prayed and meditated. He tried to maintain interior pe
Father Charbel Abernethy
3 days ago9 min read
The Grammar of the Heart — Reflection IV
When Repentance Ceases to Be Fear “Repentance is the trembling of the soul before the gate of Paradise.” — St. Isaac the Syrian There is a kind of repentance that leaves us staring at ourselves. We examine our failures. We measure our guilt. We rehearse what we have done. We wonder whether God has forgiven us, whether we have repented sufficiently, whether some hidden severity remains behind the mercy we have been promised. God may be present in such repentance, but often at
Father Charbel Abernethy
6 days ago6 min read
Sitting at the Feet of Mercy
Rereading St. Isaac and discovering how quietly a vision of God can become the language of the heart “As a grain of sand cannot counterbalance a great quantity of gold, so in comparison God’s use of justice cannot counterbalance His mercy.” — St. Isaac the Syrian I have been rereading Desire and Wonder, and something has surprised me. It is not primarily the arguments that remain with me, nor even the passages I remember laboring over. What I notice now is the tenderness. The
Father Charbel Abernethy
Oct 125 min read
The Desert Was Still Alive
Wadi Natrun and the memory of a desire that had never disappeared “As the deer longs for streams of water, so my soul longs for you, O God.” — Psalm 42:1 When I went on pilgrimage to the monasteries of Wadi Natrun in 1997, I carried with me, inevitably, a certain romanticism about the desert. How could one not? These were the places whose names had inhabited my imagination through the sayings and lives of the Fathers. Scetis. The desert of Macarius. The land of Abba Arsenius,
Father Charbel Abernethy
Sep 225 min read
When Certainty Is No Longer a Criterion
The freedom that comes when the soul no longer asks where it will be safest, but where it can belong wholly to God “Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.” — Psalm 37:5 There comes a point in the spiritual life when certainty is no longer a criterion. Not because certainty is undesirable, nor because prudence has ceased to matter. Rather, the soul discovers that there are moments when every road disappears into mist. No choice guarantees security. No deci
Father Charbel Abernethy
Sep 185 min read
Desire and Wonder: A New Three-Volume Series Is Published
St. Isaac the Syrian, the Longing for God, and a Path Forty Years in the Making “What unfolds across these pages is one movement of desire—the heart awakening to wonder, being drawn beyond itself, and discovering that its deepest longing has always been for God.” There are books we write, and there are books that seem to have been writing themselves within us for years before we finally recognize them. Desire and Wonder belongs to the latter. I am very grateful to announce th
Father Charbel Abernethy
Sep 157 min read
Restore Us to Yourself
When every other way of being restored has been taken from our hands “Restore us to thyself, O LORD, that we may be restored.” — Lamentations 5:21 There are sorrows that still contain within them the hope of repair. We suffer, but somewhere in the heart we are already imagining how things might be put right. A door might open. Someone might understand. An explanation might finally be accepted. What has been confused might become clear. What has been lost might somehow be retu
Father Charbel Abernethy
Sep 124 min read
The Poverty We Bring to God
When there is nothing left to offer but our need “Blessed the man whose help comes from you, who has set his heart on climbing to you.” — Psalm 83, as reflected upon by St. Bruno There comes a moment when a man discovers that he has very little to bring before God. Perhaps this is one of the hidden mercies of the spiritual life. For years we imagine that we will come to Him bearing something worthy of the journey: fidelity, prayer, sacrifice, knowledge, virtue, perhaps even t
Father Charbel Abernethy
Sep 104 min read
Do Not Lose in the Day What You Received in the Night
Night Vigil, the Desire for the Beloved, and the Life That Guards His Presence “You suppose that these things were ordained simply to oblige you to labor, and not because of something else that is born of them.” — St. Isaac the Syrian, Homily 20 Synopsis of Tonight’s Group on The Ascetical Homilies of St. Isaac the Syrian Homily Twenty paragraphs 4-8 There is a sentence here from St. Isaac that overturns almost everything we are inclined to think about asceticism: You suppose
Father Charbel Abernethy
Aug 266 min read
Guard the Treasure
The Small Neglects by Which the Heart Grows Cold “Turn away from evil, and do good… remain thereafter in wakefulness, so that you might preserve them.” — St. Maximos the Confessor Synopsis of Tonight’s Group on The Evergetinos Volume III Hypothesis IX Section C-D2 There is something almost frightening about the stories preserved for us in the Evergetinos. They are frightening not because they portray extraordinary wickedness, but because they reveal how quietly the heart can
Father Charbel Abernethy
Aug 245 min read
When the Night Becomes Desire
Vigil, Wonder, and the Refusal to Leave the Beloved “His mind will be quick to take flight as it were on wings, and rise up toward God with delight.” — St. Isaac the Syrian, Homily 20 There are passages in St. Isaac that can sound almost impossible to modern ears. His words on vigil are among them. “Do not imagine,” he tells us, “that among all the works of monastics there is any practice greater than night vigil.” We hear such words and immediately think of sleep deprivation
Father Charbel Abernethy
Aug 197 min read
Where Does the Soul Live?
The Desire That Already Belongs to Eternity “The soul from love of the Lord has lost her wits, as it were.” — St. Silouan the Athonite Where do we live our lives? The question seems simple until we allow it to expose us. We can live in the world without the world being the place where our heart dwells. We can inhabit a house, fulfill our responsibilities, care for those entrusted to us, endure uncertainty, carry grief, answer the demands of each day, and yet inwardly live som
Father Charbel Abernethy
Aug 167 min read
When the Heart Has Tasted God
Taking Hold of Grace and the Stronger Attraction of Divine Love “My soul thirsted for Thee, the mighty, the living God! When shall I come and appear before Thy face, O Lord?” — St. Isaac the Syrian, Homily 19 Synopsis of Tonight’s Group on The Ascetical Homilies of St. Isaac the Syrian Homily 19 paragraphs 2-7 There is a danger in reading passages such as this one from St. Isaac and hearing primarily a warning: Do not become negligent. Do not allow yourself to grow lax. Guard
Father Charbel Abernethy
Aug 126 min read
The Simplicity That Reveals the Kingdom
Why the Desert Fathers Wrote So Little - and Why Their Few Words Continue to Heal the Heart “The words of the wise are like goads, and like firmly fixed nails are the collected sayings.” — Ecclesiastes 12:11 The first gift the desert fathers offer us is not instruction but vision. Before they teach us how to think, they teach us how to see. One of the most striking characteristics of their writings is not what they explain but what they refuse to explain. A single saying of A
Father Charbel Abernethy
Jul 254 min read
The Undivided Heart
What St. Isaac Is Really Guarding “One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life.” — Psalm 27:4 Few passages in St. Isaac the Syrian can be as easily misunderstood as this one. Read superficially, it can sound severe, even offensive to modern ears. His warnings about women, nuns, relatives, and young companions may appear to reflect suspicion toward persons rather than wisdom about the spiritual
Father Charbel Abernethy
Jul 153 min read
When the Heart Dances Before God
Recovering Holy Wonder Before the Presence of the Lord “David danced before the LORD with all his might.” — 2 Samuel 6:14 The Desert Fathers would tell us that the greatest tragedy of the spiritual life is not simply that we fall into sin, but that we lose our capacity for wonder. The heart grows accustomed to holy things. We handle mysteries as though they were ordinary. We speak the Name of Christ without trembling. We stand before the Holy Mysteries with distracted minds.
Father Charbel Abernethy
Jul 24 min read
The Fire That Must Be Guarded
Humility, Stillness, and the One Thing Necessary “Force yourself, then, to imitate the humility of Christ, so that the fire which He sent down upon you may blaze up all the more.” — St. Isaac the Syrian, Homily 16 One of the most striking characteristics of St. Isaac’s writings is that he never asks us to renounce the world because the world is evil. Rather, he continually places before us something infinitely more beautiful. He speaks so often of the sweetness of communion w
Father Charbel Abernethy
Jun 243 min read
The Portion That Cannot Be Taken
On Learning to Desire Nothing but God “O Lord, it is You who are my portion and cup; it is You Yourself who are my prize.” —Psalm 16 (Grail Translation) The fathers of the desert fled to barren places not because they despised the world, but because they had discovered a terrible truth: the human heart never ceases seeking a portion. Every soul longs to possess something that can say to it, “You are safe. You are loved. You will not die.” Some seek this portion in reputation.
Father Charbel Abernethy
Jun 153 min read
The Fire We Protect
On Desire, Companionship, and the Purity of the Heart “Nothing so cools the fire that the Holy Spirit breathes into a monk’s heart for the sanctification of his soul, as familiar intercourse, much speaking, and association.” ⸻ Synopsis of Tonight’s Group on The Ascetical Homilies of St. Isaac the Syrian Homily 15 paragraphs 11-13 At first reading, Isaac’s words can sound severe, even shocking. He speaks of idle speech as fornication, unhealthy attachments as adultery, and cer
Father Charbel Abernethy
Jun 103 min read
Consumed by a Greater Desire
When Christ Becomes More Real Than the World “Within me there is no fire, but only water living and speaking in me, and saying to me from within, ‘Come to the Father.’” — St. Ignatius of Antioch There are certain texts that leave us inspired. There are others that leave us exposed. This letter of Ignatius does not comfort me. It judges me. Not because Ignatius condemns anyone. He does not. His words are too full of Christ for that. Rather, his love reveals the poverty of my o
Father Charbel Abernethy
Jun 94 min read
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