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When Conscience Becomes Quiet
On belonging, uncertainty, and learning to stand before God when no one can tell you what comes next “In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.” — Isaiah 30:15 There are seasons when conscience seems to ask for a decision. And there are seasons when it asks for something more difficult. To stand before God without one. I have found myself in such a season. Things that once seemed settled no longer seem so. A form of life that
Father Charbel Abernethy
Oct 116 min read
When the Instrument Falls Silent
The Music That Remains “If a man used to singing to the accompaniment of a harp finds the harp broken, and its strings undone… he puts it aside and instead of calling for its notes he delights himself with his own voice.” — St. Ambrose of Milan, Jacob and the Happy Life There is a story told of a musician who breaks a string in the midst of a performance. He does not stop. He adjusts his hand. He changes the fingering. He continues to play. And those who hear him discover tha
Father Charbel Abernethy
Oct 56 min read
I Want Nothing More
A dialogue with Abba Arsenius on hiddenness, usefulness, and the one thing needful “Arsenius, flee from men, and you will be saved.” — The Sayings of the Desert Fathers The disciple came to Arsenius after sunset. The old man was sitting outside his cell. The disciple bowed and remained standing. After a long while Arsenius said: ARSENIUS: Why have you come? DISCIPLE: Because I do not know what I am supposed to become. Arsenius looked toward the desert. ARSENIUS: Who told you
Father Charbel Abernethy
Sep 293 min read
We Do Not Always Know What the Net Is For
The obedience of casting the net when we no longer understand what God intends to gather “Master, we toiled all night and took nothing! But at your word I will let down the nets.” — Luke 5:5 There is something almost painfully human in Peter’s words. We toiled all night and took nothing. He is not refusing Christ. He is tired. He has already done what he knows how to do. He has worked through the darkness. He has cast the nets where fishermen cast them, at the hour fishermen
Father Charbel Abernethy
Sep 265 min read
The Distant Lights
Learning to Remain Before What Still Calls to Us “My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning.” — Psalm 130:6 There are certain lights that continue to burn in our lives long after we can no longer walk toward them. A monastery where one once felt at home. A work that gave shape to our days. Friendships that remain dear to us but have changed. Strength that has faded. Possibilities that once seemed near and now seem uncertain. Ways of living that still stir
Father Charbel Abernethy
Jun 232 min read
The Things That Remain
On Waiting Between What Was and What May Never Be “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” — Job 1:21 There are days when I do not feel like holding onto any identity at all. I have spent much of my life straining toward things that seemed beautiful and holy. Priesthood, religious life, study, prayer, ascetic labor, teaching, writing, spiritual friendship. There was always the sense that one could become something more faithful, more wort
Father Charbel Abernethy
Jun 223 min read
When the Word Falls to the Ground
The Death of the Need to Be Received “Go, and say to this people: Hear indeed, but do not understand…” — Isaiah 6:9 There is a hidden demand in the human heart that even the devout rarely recognize. It is not only the desire to speak the truth. It is the desire for that truth to be received. To be heard. To be met. To land. A man may tell himself that he speaks for God, but inwardly he watches for signs: Did they understand? Did it move them? Did it matter? And when the word
Father Charbel Abernethy
Mar 183 min read
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