Prayers Before the Iconostasis - I

Before the Holy Silence

Lord Jesus Christ,

I stand before the holy icons,

yet You stand before my heart.

At the center of this little iconostasis

You have placed not thunder, not spectacle, not movement,

but Holy Silence.

Not the silence of emptiness,

but the silence that contains You.

Not the silence of neglect,

but the silence in which the soul is visited.

Not the silence of death,

but the silence from which resurrection begins.

For years I thought You were delaying.

I thought doors were closing.

I thought losses were losses.

I thought hiddenness was abandonment.

But You were leading me here.

You stripped away noise

so that I might hear.

You lessened company

so that I might find communion.

You broke many supports

so that I might lean upon You alone.

Before the icon of Holy Silence

I see the work of Your mercy.

You have not made my life smaller.

You have made it deeper.

You have not forgotten me.

You have concealed me in Your hand.

You have not taken everything.

You have taken what could not save.

Teach me now the speech of silence.

Teach me the prayer that has no vanity in it.

Teach me to stand, to bow, to wait, to endure.

Teach me to love the hidden day.

Let me not run again to noise

when silence wounds me.

Let me not seek crowds

when solitude exposes me.

Let me not call barren

what You have made fertile.

If Holy Silence stands at the center,

then let silence stand at the center of me.

And when my heart rages,

be stillness within it.

When thoughts multiply,

be simplicity within them.

When loneliness comes,

be presence within it.

Lord Christ,

make of this small chapel a desert.

Make of this desert a paradise.

Make of this poor man a place where You may rest.

Amen.