Enter the Wound

Great Lent as the Death of the False Self and the Birth of the Heart

“The way of God is a daily cross. No one has ascended to heaven by ease or comfort.”

— St Isaac the Syrian

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Great Lent is not a season. It is an assault on everything false in us.

The Church does not invite us into Lent as the world invites us into self-improvement. She drags us into the desert. She removes the coverings. She strips away the lies we tell ourselves about who we are and how holy we think we are. She stands us before God with nothing in our hands and nothing left to hide behind.

The Fathers knew this. Saint Isaac the Syrian says that when a man truly begins to repent, he becomes “like one who has been wounded and does not know whether he will live or die.” That is the beginning of Lent. Not resolution. Not discipline. Wounding.

The Pharisee in us wants a Lent that improves religious performance. The tax collector in us knows that Lent is the moment the soul finally collapses. The desert fathers went into the wilderness not to master themselves but to be undone. They discovered something terrifying. The greatest obstacle to God is not sin but self-possession.

The monk who prays beautifully but protects his self-image remains unhealed. The Christian who fasts strictly but refuses to surrender control remains sick. Abba Poemen said, “Teach your mouth to say what is in your heart.” Lent is when the mask is removed and the mouth is forced to speak what the heart has been hiding.

Archimandrite Zacharias says, “To the extent that our obedience is a total crucifixion, it will compel God to act.” This is not poetic language. It is spiritual law. God does not come where we behave well. He comes where we die. Every area of your life you refuse to crucify will remain untouched by resurrection. Your habits. Your reputation. Your arguments. Your self-justification. Your ministry. Your plans. Your image of yourself as good or wounded or gifted or misunderstood. Lent is when Christ says, “Put it all on the wood.”

Saint Silouan learned this in hell when Christ told him, “Keep thy mind in hell and despair not.” You do not ascend by escaping your darkness. You descend into it with Christ. Modern spiritual people try to float above themselves. The saints walk through themselves. This is why Lent feels unbearable when it is real. Your defenses are being dismantled. Your illusions are being starved. Your interior noise is being stripped of its fuel. You will feel naked. That is the beginning of truth.

Do not make Lent safe. Safe Lent is demonic. Safe Lent changes diets but not hearts. Safe Lent increases prayers but protects the ego. Safe Lent adds piety while keeping control. The fathers called this delusion. Real Lent is dangerous because it threatens everything that keeps you separate from God. It will touch your resentments. Your need to be right. Your hidden addictions. Your compulsions. Your refusal to forgive. Your terror of being seen as nothing. And Christ will not negotiate.

The desert has only one purpose: to make you poor enough to be saved. Saint Isaac says, “This life has been given to you for repentance. Do not waste it in vain pursuits.” Lent is the yearly apocalypse of the soul. It reveals what is false so that what is true may live.

You will be tempted to soften it. To distract yourself. To make it symbolic instead of real. Do not. Enter the wound. Stay in the fire. Let yourself be dismantled. Because only what is crucified is resurrected. And only the one who loses everything finally belongs to God.