A Prayer at the Beginning of the Lenten Retreat Series

The Dismantling of the Religious Self

The False Light That Feeds on Devotion

O Lord Jesus Christ,

Light from Light, true God from true God,

You who entered the wilderness not to perform but to be obedient,

not to shine before men but to love the Father in secret,

We stand before You at the threshold of this retreat carrying more than we know.

We bring our prayers,

and also our need to be seen praying.

We bring our fasting,

and also our subtle hunger for approval.

We bring our teaching, our ministry, our knowledge of holy things,

and the quiet intoxication that comes from being thought devout.

Lord, have mercy.

Expose in us the false light that feeds on devotion.

Unmask the religious self that has learned to survive on praise,

to build identity out of sacrifice,

to substitute activity for surrender.

We confess that we have loved being faithful more than being free.

We have loved speaking of You more than listening to You.

We have loved appearing near the Kingdom more than entering it poor.

If our piety has become a hiding place, tear it down.

If our devotions have become performances, silence them.

If our theology has shielded us from the wound of real repentance, strip us bare.

Lead us into the wilderness where there is no audience,

no applause,

no spiritual persona to maintain,

only hunger,

only truth,

only You.

Let this Lent be a fire that burns away the false brightness we have mistaken for Your glory.

Let it dismantle the self that feeds on admiration, comparison, and control.

Grant us instead the hidden light,

the light that shines in secret obedience,

in tears no one sees,

in love offered without return,

in prayer that feels like darkness yet clings to You.

May we not fear the collapse of what we have constructed.

May we welcome the holy undoing.

May we consent to decrease.

And when the false light fades and the familiar religious identity trembles, hold us fast.

Teach us to stand not as experts, not as teachers, not as those who know,

but as sinners who dare to be loved.

For You alone are the true Light who shines in the darkness,

and the darkness has not overcome it.

Dismantle us, Lord,

so that only Christ remains.

Amen.