Hidden from Men, Claimed by God

A Dialogue with St. Arsenius on Obscurity and Humility

The disciple came to the elder Arsenius and said,

Father, my heart fears being forgotten. I labor, I pray, I seek God, yet everything in me resists obscurity. Why does the soul tremble at being unseen?

The elder was silent for a time. Then he said,

Because the soul remembers the applause of men more easily than the gaze of God.

The disciple said,

But is it not good to be useful, to be known, to bear fruit that others can see?

Arsenius replied,

The seed bears fruit only after it has disappeared. What remains visible has not yet entered the earth.

The disciple asked,

Why then do the fathers praise obscurity so highly?

The elder answered,

Because obscurity shelters the soul from theft. When a man is hidden, the demons pass him by. When he is praised, they gather.

The disciple said,

Yet obscurity feels like exile.

Arsenius said,

It is exile from illusion. You grieve not because you are hidden, but because you are no longer admired. The wound is not loss of place, but loss of image.

The disciple said softly,

I fear that in obscurity my life will have no meaning.

The elder looked at him and said,

When did your life begin to have meaning from the gaze of others? God formed Adam before any eye beheld him. Meaning is not bestowed by witnesses, but by obedience.

The disciple asked,

Is humility then simply accepting smallness?

Arsenius replied,

Humility is consenting to the truth without protest. It is the peace that comes when the soul stops negotiating its worth.

The disciple said,

But Father, how does obscurity heal the heart?

The elder said,

In obscurity, your prayers are no longer rehearsed. Your repentance becomes honest. Your love ceases to perform. You are finally poor enough for God to dwell with you.

The disciple said,

And what of fruitfulness?

Arsenius answered,

The hidden root feeds the visible branch. What God uses most is what men forget.

The disciple hesitated and said,

Father, I still desire to be seen.

Arsenius smiled faintly and replied,

Do not be ashamed of this desire. Simply do not obey it. Sit with it as you would with a restless child, and it will grow quiet.

Then he added,

Seek a place where no one praises you, and you will learn who you are. Seek a place where no one notices you, and God will begin to notice you deeply.

The disciple bowed and said,

Give me a word to carry with me.

St. Arsenius said,

Flee, be silent, and pray. But understand this rightly. Flee not from people, but from the lie that you need to be known. Be silent not because you have nothing to say, but because God is speaking. Pray not to be lifted up, but to be buried with Christ.

And the disciple departed, no longer asking where his place was, but where he might be hidden.