Dialogue with St. Arsenius - Flee and Be Still

Disciple

Abba Arsenius you fled from the company of men so that your mind and heart might belong to God alone. I seek your counsel because my path has not been chosen in the same way. I did not leave the company of men. God lifted me from among them. I do not receive this as a hardship but as a blessing and a call. Yet the silence that has come upon me is severe. It exposes me to battles I did not know when I was surrounded by voices. I desire to be stripped of ego and identity so that God Himself may guide me on the path forward even if that path leads nowhere visible and nowhere praised. Even if it means remaining where I am in hiddenness and obscurity.

St Arsenius

It is not the manner of departure that matters but the obedience that follows. Whether you fled or were taken you now stand in the same place. When God removes a man from among others He does not always lead him into rest. Often He leads him into truth.

I fled men because my heart was scattered among them. You have been lifted from them so that your heart might be gathered. Do not measure your calling by the outward form. Measure it by the fruit of stillness.

Disciple

The stillness I am learning is not gentle. Demonic provocation rises more clearly now. Memories speak. Thoughts accuse. Old identities return demanding to be acknowledged. There are days when I fear that I am doing nothing and that nothing is being accomplished.

St Arsenius

You mistake exposure for failure. When the crowd is taken away the enemies no longer hide. The battle you describe is not a sign that silence is false but that it is real.

When I dwelt in the palace I was praised and distracted. When I dwelt in the desert I was unknown and assaulted. I learned that demons fear silence more than speech and humility more than fasting. Remain where you are and learn the craft of being unseen.

Remember what I said to myself many times Arsenius flee be silent be still. These are not steps but one movement of the heart.

Disciple

I sense that this silence must be lived in simplicity. That I must strip myself externally and internally of what weighs upon the heart. I want to run with haste at the Beloved’s command but I do not know when to move and when to remain.

St Arsenius

The command of the Beloved is not always a voice. Often it is the absence of permission to move. If you are not sent do not go. If you are not released do not seek a road.

Simplicity is not poverty alone. It is the refusal to carry unnecessary thoughts. It is the laying down of images of yourself whether noble or broken. A man who carries no image of himself walks swiftly because nothing drags behind him.

The Scripture says Be still and know that I am God. Stillness is not waiting for something to happen. It is consenting to be led.

Disciple

Then is it possible that remaining where I am is itself obedience and not delay.

St Arsenius

Yes. Many have lost their souls by moving too soon and many have been saved by remaining unknown. God does not reveal the path to the one who insists on seeing it but to the one who entrusts himself to being led.

You seek to give yourself over to God in every way. This is not done by decisive gestures but by daily consent. Hiddenness purifies desire. Obscurity burns away ambition. Silence teaches you who you are when no one affirms you.

Disciple

Pray for me Abba that I may not flee this silence or adorn it with meaning but live it faithfully until God speaks or remains silent.

St Arsenius

I will pray. But know this. If God remains silent He is still guiding you. Do not ask to be shown the way. Ask to be made obedient to the step placed before you.

Remain where you are. Strip yourself. Be simple. Let God do the leading.