A Dialogue with Saint Paisios the Athonite

On Meaning, Peace of Heart, and the Work of Today

The disciple arrived tired in spirit. His mind had been racing for days. Saint Paisios welcomed him with the kind of warmth that disarms all fear, motioning for him to sit on a small wooden stool near his hermitage.

Disciple: Geronda, my heart feels confused. I keep asking why I am alive and what God wants from me. I search for some great purpose and the more I search, the more restless I become.

St Paisios: My child, when a man stirs the water with his hands he wonders why he cannot see his reflection. First let the water become calm. Only then can you see what is already there. Do not chase after meaning. You are stirring the water too much. Sit a little. Let your heart grow quiet.

Disciple: But I feel I must do something important. Something that matters. I fear wasting my life.

St Paisios: Important? Let me tell you something. A small candle lit in a dark room gives more light than a thousand suns imagined but never seen. People dream of great deeds and forget the simple good they can do today. God is not asking you to illuminate the whole world. He is asking you to light the corner where He has placed you. If you do that faithfully, He will take care of the rest.

Disciple: So the meaning of my life is in small things?

St Paisios: Meaning is in love. Great or small does not matter. A glass of cool water given with love weighs more in heaven than a magnificent plan that never touches a single person’s life. The devil likes wide roads because people get lost on them. God gives us narrow paths because they are safe. Walk the small path before you. It leads straight to Him.

Disciple: I often imagine a future where everything becomes clear, where I finally understand what my life is supposed to look like.

St Paisios: That is how we lose our peace. We run ahead of ourselves. We try to climb mountains that do not exist. God gives you one step at a time because He knows your strength better than you do. When you think too far ahead, your heart becomes like a house with all the doors and windows open. Every wind of anxiety blows through. Close the windows. Stay where your feet are.

Disciple: But I feel guilty that I am not doing something bigger for God.

St Paisios: Listen carefully. God does not need your big things. He wants your heart. When a person tries to be important, he becomes smaller. When he humbles himself, God fills him and his life becomes wide as the sea. Do what you can, with love, without noise. If someone comes to you with sorrow, listen. If someone needs help, help. If someone wounds you, pray for him. These are not small things. These are holy things.

Disciple: Sometimes I feel an emptiness inside me. Like the world has no meaning at all. It frightens me.

St Paisios: That emptiness is not a sign that life has no meaning. It is the sign that your heart is hungry for God. A stomach growls not because there is no food in the world but because the body needs nourishment. The soul growls in the same way. Give it prayer. Give it stillness. Give it kindness toward others. Slowly you will see that the emptiness was not a void but a doorway.

Disciple: So meaning is not something I go out and find?

St Paisios: No, my child. Meaning is something that grows inside you as you give yourself to God. It grows like a seed. You water it with prayer. You protect it with humility. You expose it to the sunlight of good works. And in time it becomes a tree that gives shade to many, even if they never know its root is hidden under your daily struggles.

Disciple: Father, what should I do now, today?

St Paisios: Today? Be faithful with whatever comes. If it is time to pray, pray with your whole heart. If it is time to work, work with peace. If someone needs you, be present. If your thoughts accuse you, do not argue with them. Whisper God’s name until they quiet down. Leave tomorrow in His hands. He is a far better caretaker than your imagination.

Disciple: Pray for me, Geronda. I want to live this way.

St Paisios: I pray for you and will continue to pray. Go with peace. Live the day God has given you. Live it with love and a quiet heart. If you do this, meaning will come to you like dawn. Not all at once, but surely.